Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Coping with Being a Single Dad

A single dad is a state one arrives after he has performed a divorce with his wife or if he has been living alone with his children. The [single dad required] to be both responsible and aware of his new status. If he is a divorcee, he will have to understand that his children will have to live without their mother. This might mean them feeling denied of their mother’s affection and care. A [single dad required] to understand and make up for this loss and denial. As children spend more time in a day care or at home after school, he will have to train them to schedule and sync their daily routines. He will have to come to terms with their school work, their preparation for tests and exams. A [single dad required] to also attend school open houses to speak to a child’s teachers and discuss their progress or problems at school. He has to plan and cook their daily food. He has to take care of their diet and nutrition. He has to also remember their birthdays, school events, arrange for parties for other children at home, attend other children’s birthday parties, and meet other parents of his children’s friends. He must also take the children out for a weekend drive, an outing or a picnic over the weekend. Also, taking children to a sightseeing trip, a hiking expedition, or a water ski resort might help them break from the usual stressful routines. He will also have to arrange for their mother’s meeting on the days and times as agreed in his divorce agreement. He has to ensure his children are taken good care of as promised during the divorce, so as to not invite legal procedures or custody battles with his ex-wife. A single dad can always resort to the services of a maid or matron to take care of his children. He has to be diplomatic, well behaved and very understanding with the person, so that she compensates with good care and affection for his children. If possible he should try to get married again to reduce the overload of being single. He should reduce his tendencies of dating or weekend meetings with other women at work or in his neighbourhood to decrease his loneliness. He should not try to take to alcohol, smoking or other addictions as stress relievers. A single dad is always set to have more responsibility than one with a wife. He has to resist urges of staying away late at work or going out for long periods of time at a gas station, store or shopping, without informing his wards. Children tend to worry when not in touch for long periods. A single dad should resist tendencies to yell at his children and try to understand their troubles and problems. He should learn to cut costs, increase his savings and learn to plan for his children’s education and future. As a single dad, he should try to train his children to be productive and work towards earning a living by the time they turn 18, as he would be overloaded by the time they grow up. Many children work at burger outlets, shopping stores or as workshop apprentices to earn a side income. This also gives them a head start at ages of 12 or 15, so that they can separate from him eventually. Once, they attend college he should be able to pay for their education in full or part. He should be able to guide them in the choice of a career and help them choose one. He should advise them to perform their studies diligently without skipping semesters. Once, they join work they should be able to live on their own, cook for themselves and be able to pay their rent. They should learn to look after themselves in cases of sickness and disease. He should advise them to refrain from borrowing monies from friends or colleagues and try to speak to people with whom they might end up having a dispute. A [single dad required] to also advise his children to eventually choose spouses with whom they can live a proper day to day life, without interfering with their choices or desires. He should try to keep good relations with his children’s spouses and speak to them, if they face any issues. He should also inquire about their children and their relations with their siblings. He should ask them to drop by during the weekend or in a month so they can chat up or discuss any issues.

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